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Socialismo: Tú tienes 2 vacas. El estado te obliga a darle 1 a tu vecino.
Comunismo: Tú tienes 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te da algo de leche.
Fascismo: Tú tienes 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te vende algo de leche.
Nazismo: Tú tienes 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te dispara en la cabeza.
Burocracia: Tú tienes 2 vacas. El estado te pierde una, ordeña la otra y luego tira la leche al suelo.
Capitalismo (tradicional): Tú tienes 2 vacas. Vendes una y te compras un toro. Haces más vacas. Vendes las vacas y ganas dinero.
Capitalismo (moderno): Tú tienes 2 vacas. Vendes 3 de tus vacas a tu empresa que cotiza en bolsa mediante letras de crédito abiertas por tu cuñado en el banco. Luego ejecutas un intercambio de participación de deuda con una oferta general asociada con lo que ya tienes las 4 vacas de vuelta, con exención de impuestos por 5 vacas. La leche que hacen tus 6 vacas es transferida mediante intermediario a una empresa con sede en las Islas Cayman que vuelve a vender los derechos de las 7 vacas a tu compañía. El informe anual afirma que tu tienes 8 vacas con opción a una más. Coges tus 9 vacas y las cortas en trocitos. Luego vendes a la gente tus 10 vacas trozeadas. Curiosamente durante todo el proceso nadie parece darse cuenta que, en realidad, tú sólo tienes 2 vacas.
Economía japonesa: Tú tienes 2 vacas. Las rediseñas a escala 1:10 y que te produzcan el doble de leche. Pero no te haces rico. Luego ruedas todo el proceso en dibujos animados. Los llamas ‘Vakimon’ eincomprensiblemente, te haces millonario.
Economía alemana: Tú tienes 2 vacas. Mediante un proceso de reingeniería consigues que vivan 100 años, coman una vez al mes y se ordeñen solas. Nadie cree que tenga ningún mérito.
Economía rusa: Tú tienes 2 vacas. Cuentas y tienes 5 vacas. Vuelves a contar y te salen 257 vacas Vuelves a contar y te salen 3 vacas. Dejas de contar vacas y abres otra botella de vodka.
Economía china: Tú tienes 2 vacas. Tienes a 300 tíos ordeñándolas. Explicas al mundo tu increíble ratio de productividad lechera. Disparas a un periodista que se dispone a contar la verdad.
Economía iraquí: Tú no tienes vacas. Nadie cree que no tengas vacas, te bombardean y te invaden el país. Tú sigues sin tener vacas.
Economía suiza: Hay 5.000.000.000 vacas. Es obvio que tienen dueño pero nadie parece saber quién es.
Economía francesa: Tú tienes 2 vacas. Entonces te declaras en huelga, organizas una revuelta violenta y cortas todas las carreteras del país, porque tú lo que quieres son 3 vacas.
Economía neozelandesa: Tú tienes 2 vacas. La de la izquierda te parece cada día más atractiva.
Economía española: Tú tienes 2 vacas, pero no tienes ni idea de donde están. Pero como ya es viernes, te bajas a desayunar al bar que tienen el “Marca“. Si acaso, ya te pondrás a buscarlas el miércoles después del puente de San Aniceto.
Economia chilena: Tu tienes 2 vacas y te las roban, nunca sabrás si fueron los flaites o el estado.
Economia Boliviana: Tu no tienes vacas pero aseguras que una de las vacas chilenas te pertenece
Reblog por economia boliviana
May 2011
12 posts
(Bookstore | Bridgeport, OR, USA)
Customer: “Hello, do you have any of the new Twilight books?”
Me: “Yes, they’re over here.”
(I lead her to where they would be, but we appear to be sold out. This is strange as all copies were put up this morning.)
Me: “That’s strange. We seem to be out of stock. Can I interest you in anything else?”
Customer: “Ugh, fine. What about this one?”
(They point towards ‘Harry Potter’.)
Me: “Oh, that’s a great book! It’s about a boy who becomes a wizard and-”
Customer: “Are there any werewolves?”
Me: “I think so. I haven’t read them in a while.”
(The customer grabs the entire series of ‘Harry Potter’ and leaves. As I’m about to return to my workstation, two teens run up to me, high-five each other, and tell me they hid all 70 copies of ‘Twilight’ in the ceiling when no one was looking. Although impressed, I have to report them to my manager. After doing so, my manager gives them each a $10 gift card.)
” —The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3cuando estás totalmente inmerso leyendo y algo te trae abruptamente de vuelta y te das cuenta que estás en la micro…
OOC: I Found This, Someone Wrote it. Press Play and Read while Listening :]
The store chimed a cheery “Welcome, welcome!” that fell on deaf ears, sounding old and broken even though the shop had long been fixed. Dust sat here and there like dead weight, coating merchandise they had slaved over until perfection. It felt wrong. Light filtered in through parts of the damaged roof that had never really been seen to, highlighting sections of the store and for a moment - George saw a flash of what it used to be when he was two not one. When the sign outside still carried the apostrophe and s behind ‘Weasley’.
He delved in further, trailing his fingers along the counter Verity once sat at, tending. A feeling settled in his stomach, like homesickness and remorse, and his face felt heavy with the onslaught of tears prickling behind his eyes. ‘George?’ enquired Ron softly from behind. ‘I’m ok.’ And then they set to work, sleeves rolled up, and prepared to try and lift their sunken hearts. The shop bustled with life, kids shouting joyous announcements across to each other, parents of the younger children watching with a careful eye. Toys whizzed through the air, and not a spec of silence could be found in the entire building. A mechanical boy leaned over a bucket, upchucking brightly colored candy, and a girl across the store copied him. Tight-ropes with a befuddled witch wobbled above, and the only light that came in was from healthy charms above. With the popularity of the franchise, the til’s were keeping Ron and Verity busy; glowing with amusement. George grinned as he weaved through the crowd, moving towards a side of the store where nothing cluttered the space - well, except for the wall. Along it was papers, bright pictures that moved and waved and a familiar laugh stared down at him. ‘Hullo, Fred!’ He stuck up a clipping from the Daily Prophet, exclaiming 13 YEARS LATER and an memorial article below. Fred glanced at it from his picture, then wandered into the clipping to inspect. He turned his head to look over his shoulder, giving his twin a wink. ‘Yeah, thought you might like that.’ said George, feeling a mist in his eyes he was quick to brush away. He scanned the wall, taking in the other things. Frames of he and Fred, the success of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and it’s branches; the refurbishing of the original after a long few years of mour, and much more of Fred to make up for the fact he couldn’t stand aside him in the flesh. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to settle George’s hear. For the most part. He turned and set up a table with his wand, stretching out and into the wall; leaving him a space to sit between the two. ‘Owl Orders for school here, please!’ He announced, offering his best smile to a young boy who trampled up, explaining it was his first year coming, and so on.
Behind George, Fred beamed with pride for his twin and faced the ink of the words again to actually read them.
And to Fred; may you never manage your mischief.
